Harry's Little Friends
by Star Bear
Summary: Harry finds new friends in the school kitchens who are more that willing to join in to his mischief making. Who knew burritos could be so exciting?


Harry stepped carefully through the portrait of the fruit bowl holding the cardboard box steady with both hands. As he set the box on the table and shook out his tired muscles he wondered why it did not occur to him to shrink it.

He had thought to come visit the elves and see what they thought of his new plan. He was delighted that Ron and Hermione had gotten their act together and started dating, but Harry had really had enough of seeing them snog. Dumbledore deserved way more for what he put Harry through in fifth year than this plan and when honestly did the Slytherins not deserve a little surprise. Plus it should be fun.

Harry braced his hands on the table as he heard a shriek of, "Mister Harry Potter, sir!" Harry was therefore prepared for the expected collision with the back of his knees. The first time this had happened Harry had ended up in an embarrassing heap on the floor.

He managed to pry the fingers off his knees are turn around to smile at Dobby. Harry really did like his miniature friend, but his enthusiasm could be exhausting to deal with. Dobby had improved lately at not sobbing at the least provocation, but the titles were still firmly in place.

"Hi, Dobby, how are you?" Harry asked.

Dobby bounced happily, "I is doing fantastic, why have you come Mister Harry Potter?"

"Well I brought a present for you and your fellow chefs," said Harry happily.

In the instant silence that followed Harry wondered if this would make a good horror film. Innocent man trapped in an enclosed kitchen with demented midgets wielding knives. No he decided, probably not a blockbuster plot. It did have good comedy potential though.

To relieve the tension that came from having 200 some eyeballs focused on him Harry began babbling, "I know how much you all love cooking, and I thought you might like to try some different recipes. So I collected some cooking books this summer from different countries and I was hoping you would let me learn them with you."

Harry shifted nervously as the elves continued staring blankly. Even Dobby was speechless. Harry began panicking mentally. What if he had offended them? Should he begin slowly backing away?

Than a voice piped up from the back, "Is the recipes any good?"

"I don't know about all of them, but some I have had and they are delicious," Harry said with relief. "Here," Harry reached into the box and dug around for a book. Pulling out a book titled, "Mexican Fiesta Made Easy," with a giant piñata on the cover he sat down in the chair at the table and began flipping through it.

Finding a burrito recipe he held the book out so that everyone could see Harry paused as he suddenly realized it looked like children's story hour at the library. The curious elf had shifted closer to peer at the picture on the page.

"What is that," the elf breathed in awe.

"It is a burrito," Harry enthused, "A delicious blend of beans, cheese, and tortilla from Mexico."

"Ohhhhh," came the response from the rest of the elves.

Harry mentally added to the movie script in his head. Ominous music should start about now.

He reached over to dig through the box once more. "And this is 'Excellent Egg Rolls' from China, well technically they are from California, but they are very popular in China as well."

Tiny arms began stretching toward the box and Harry realized it was too high for them, so he lifted the box to the floor. The mini stampede that formed reminded Harry of the news stories of people waiting for hours outside for store with the awesome sale to open in the morning. In seconds the box was empty and there were small pods of elves huddled around different books.

Harry waited for their reaction, curious if they would be interested in new foods. The silence was only broken by the turning of pages. Then a soft hum started as the elves began to whisper and point at different recipes. An elf wearing a purple bow around her head was muttering rapidly to herself, "Deep fry, deep fry, deep fry," in a fascinated tone. Harry suspected she had found the "Fry Anything, Anytime," book from America.

Across the room a deeper voice suddenly asked, "You wish to help us?"

Harry tried to figure out who had asked, but gave up and just shrugged and nodded, "Sure it would be fun to learn new recipes."

From the group a very portly elf emerged, in the same deep voice he said, "I be Chester, head chef."

Harry grinned at him, "Pleasure to meet you Chester, I am Harry."

"I think it time Hogwarts had new meals," Chester boomed.

The sudden bout of cheering had Harry wondering if he had missed something, but he decided what the heck and started clapping too.

"We plan menus?" questioned another elf.

"Certainly," said Chester.

"Ohh, lets start with Mexican, their mouths will be burning," said Harry feeling particularly vindictive at the moment.

This quickly switched to nervousness as the elves began to giggle in a menacing fashion. Who had the wizarding nation not noticed the dangers of angering these little creatures before now? An extremely tiny elf suddenly yelled from the side, "I make the piñatas," and with that the fiesta planning was on.


End file.
